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After big weddings, what next?

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THE increased rate of divorce in the society in recent times is not just alarming but also makes one wonder whether couples are really prepared for marriage, which in this clime is a lifetime venture. Actually, many spinsters and bachelors appear to be more concerned about marriage celebrations and prepare for them as if they are the main things that matter in marriage.

It has however been observed that if half of the time, efforts and resources couples commit into marriage ceremonies are committed to learning or preparing how to stay happily married, we won’t be talking of divorce at all and our families and society will definitely be better.

Instances abound where couples begin to quarrel immediately after weddings or a few years after which in most cases led to divorce. The fact is that couples work so hard to continue to appeal to each other both in physical appearance and otherwise till they are through with every marriage rites or celebrations. They also do it to look beautiful enough to impress the public during the ceremonies but immediately after the ceremonies, some feel so relaxed and a times, throw caution to the wind.

Some forget that they have to continue working for their marriage to work by continuously trying to appeal to each other in all ramifications. In most cases, they are carried away by the exigencies of duty in their various work places or business that they neglect certain things that spice up relationships like kissing before and after coming back from work , eating together,  neatness, looking romantic, appreciating each other, making their partners feel special and avoiding inviting  a third party, among others.

Speaking on the issue, Evangelist Chukwunonso Okafor from Shiloh Word Chapel, Abuja, observed that people have different beliefs, religions and ethics which bring disagreement between couples if they don’t understand themselves very well. He also said that marriage was another face of destiny and that one could not know his or her partner 100 percent until they begin to leave together. He said that disagreement must occur in marriage, because there is no perfect marriage on earth and to avoid this, one has to understand his or her partner’s body language, know his likes and dislikes and also be prayerful.  He said that some people were practicing infidelity because they felt that their partners were not doing it well and advised singles to know their partners to some extent before getting married.

Okafor identified lack of communication as a major problem in marriage.”People are suffering so much from distant relationships. In the Garden of Eden, it is because Adam was always busy with his business and didn’t have time for his wife that the serpent went to do his job for him. Couples should communicate with themselves very well and be sincere to one another. While dating, tell your partner the truth because if you tell lies, he or she will be disappointed if he/she eventually finds out the truth. There are differences between like, love and lust. Don’t deceive your partner. Couples should love what their partner likes, for the sake of love.

Also, Prophet Chinedu Onyeama, General Overseer of Rejoice Chapel Church International, Awka Branch, said that preparation was the foundation of everything in life. “Some people marry by pressure while some marry because they feel that they are grownups. Young girls should get prepared for marriage. Many girls can’t wash their clothes, cook and greet very well, yet they want to marry. The Bible said that he who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtaineth favour from the Lord, which means that marriage starts from your father’s house. People don’t ask question before marriage because they feel that their time is going”.

He advised singles to prepare their marriage by reading books that have to do with marriage, so that when problem comes, they will be able to come counter it. “If you want to marry a good husband, you have to be good yourself. Prayer is important. Make people that succeeded in marriage your friends and don’t have the mindset of divorce in your mind, so that you will not encounter it when you are married”. He also said that young girls should stop marrying because of material things, forgetting that money is not the main thing but character.

“If you love your husband without God, you will leave the marriage but if you love God, your marriage will last .People should not marry for love because marriage is commitment. Singles should pray before marriage and after marriage. If you marry for love, one day your husband may slap you and love will go, but commitment will make you stay”.

For Mr Joseph Okonkwo from Umuokpu Awka, “couples should work on themselves and try to behave well to avoid divorce. They should be prayerful in order to retain their marriage. They should avoid cheating and bad behavior.”

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