“YOUR peers are all married. If you happen not to get married this year, you will live my house,” says a father to her daughter who is yet to get married.
The way some persons are placing much focus on marriage as the ultimate achievement one can have in life is becoming worrisome, especially as it concerns women. A woman can have a successful career and awesome life, but at times, people still ask her; “why aren’t you married yet”.
Marriage, according to Oxford Dictionary is a legal relationship between a husband and wife. This suggests that two persons will be involved in the relationship and it has to be at their own convenience. These days, some persons see it as an achievement that must be done by one before one can be recognized.
There have been various discussions on whether marriage is an achievement. Some said that marriage accorded women respect in this part of the world, while others insist that it is just another phase of life, not an achievement.
Speaking on the issue, Mercy stated that ”Marriage is an achievement in our country. If you are not married at a certain age, some believe you are either irresponsible or having spiritual problem. I think marriage is an achievement worthy of being congratulated only if the couple has faced the bitter parts of the union they are into and still care for each other, then, one can call it an achievement.”
She further said that marriage tests the love couples have for each other, adding that staying happily married is the real
However, she said that, whether it is a marriage based on love or an arranged marriage, marriage is not all in life.”It is just the starting of a life time journey together and to make it work successfully, it takes mutual understanding and love from both parties [husband and wife]”.
John Olisa, a trader, stated that marriage is an achievement, because it requires a high level of commitment and only bold people can make the decision of stepping into it. “Some people believe marriage is tagged with being responsible and that married people are respected, forgetting the other phase of it.”
He said he got married earlier because he was the only son of his parents which created vacuum for the parents who convinced him to get married, stating that they needed grandchildren. But what if the woman fails to conceive? That will equally make the parents to persuade him to marry another wife.
In other words, such a marriage is not an achievement but an accomplishment which can cost a lot if not properly handled by partners.
According to Glory, marriage is a legal union between a man and a woman with the primary purpose of procreation, while every achievement comes with the level of satisfaction. She further stated that some marriages can simply be described as miscarriage because the fundamental reasons for the marriage are no longer there.
Partners in such marriages continuously regret going into such unions. The question is, where is the satisfaction? Some persons marry with the sole aim of having children [especially men] and once children are not coming, they think about getting another partner, of which most women do not agree to the idea. So, can one describe such marriage as an achievement when there is no satisfaction between the partners?
However, she said that marriage was not an achievement, but a union that is design by God from the beginning of creation. “One doesn’t need marriage to feel special or realize his or her wealth. Successful marriage is an achievement but getting married to someone is not”.
Ebuka, a civil servant said, “Marriage is somehow an achievement. If one has been single for a long time, the idea of finding a partner you imagine spending your life with [husband, wife] is quite fascinating. You might feel as if you won a lottery. That alone makes it an achievement.” He further narrated a story about her sister, who through her marriage, made the family proud. Through her marriage to the husband, things really changed for the family. He made me to study abroad. All these things are the achievement part of it”.
However, he said that marriage was cool but it’s not defined as a goal. It’s basically a choice between two people who want to spend their lives together. Goals don’t depend on other people because they are something you achieve for your happiness, but if you happen not to get married, don’t feel or think that you’ve failed or there is something wrong with you. Marriage doesn’t always guarantee feelings of satisfaction or happiness.
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