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Valentine Special

More to get from your woman than sex in relationship

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AROUND October last year, Nigeria songstress Tiwa Savage, took to her instagram page to dish out a controversial relationship comment, saying some ladies have nothing to offer in a relationship except sex.

  The mother of one, while commenting on what she termed “the mind set of Nigerian ladies” said men do not only require sex to keep them going, but prayers and motivations.

  She said, if we remove sex from relationship you will discover that most of the ladies have nothing to offer in a relationships, search your conscience, what do you offer aside from sex.

  Remove money from a relationship and you will discover that over 90 percent of ladies won’t see a reason to be in a relationship. We want our men take care of us but we add no value to their life other than sex and troubles.

Lets change our mind set, lets learn to be valuable in a relation, lets pray for them while they are down. motivate them to work harder, give them listening ears.     

  Interestingly, most men erroneously believe that a girl has only her physical body to offer for intercourse in a relationship or marriage, while some with divergent views posit strongly that in any relationship, there are more a lady can offer other than sex.

   A man and a woman view sex from different perspectives; a man may have sex just to satisfy  his emotional needs while a woman may engage in sex as a way of expressing love to her partner. Most times when a woman does that frequently, the man begins to nurse the notion that all she has to offer is nothing but sex. Men who are always lustfully attracted to women that come around them. They believe that sex is the only thing women have to offer men.  Other men who look out for other things in women are hardly seen pouring out their biles as to what a woman can offer. The big question is, what can you as an individual offer to your partner apart from sexual intercourse?

  In sex, game is not acceptable, but to some people, sex is game. Some say it looks phony and tasteless but to play along with your partner is possible and necessary to maintain and sustain the relationship.

   Sex is good. To some people, sex is ultimate and brings together a loving and caring relationship. Nothing compares to getting down and dirty with your loved one, being intimate and vulnerable with your lover is indescribable and wonderful. Sex isn’t everything, when it comes to a relationship. There is need to be more than a good lay. Everyone has got to have other qualities that can carry you two through time.

  In his response on what a woman can offer in a relationship apart from sex, a bachelor within Awka metropolis, Mr. Justice Igboeli, in an interview said that it’s totally acceptable to focus on your sex life with your partner. “People put much emphasis on sex all the time, and not enough in other areas.  This is why some relationships don’t make it past the hot and heavy honeymoon stage. True love between a man and a woman does not have to be all about sex.  And if sex is all you’ve got , it doesn’t leave you with much. That is why it’s important to remember the other things that are critical for a relationship to be happy and healthy. You’re going to nurture these things if you want to have a long lasting and loving relationship.

  “Beyond sex, these qualities are the ambience of that relationship to grow stronger a sweeter over age.

  Loyalty – Man as a being values respect more than anything especially when it comes from a female. You should be loyal to your man, make dishonesty repulsive to you. If you make a commitment, stick to it. Loyalty is one quality a woman offers to its optimum range which most men can’t return.

  Support-Behind every successful man, there is a woman.” A woman supports man in all ramifications of life. A man needs someone who has his back. A woman who is great at this falls into the role of chief supporter. Naturally, women encourage and support their men; telling them that they are doing a great job. She calms him down when he gets angry with pet and love (she treats her man like a baby), gives him the extra push he needs to take of his business or job, and when he succeeds, he will celebrate her(the woman)

  Humility-A woman often displeases herself to please her man. Everyone has choices and tastes like in the choice of choosing a car. Of course you would have your preferences; you will voice your opinions. But overall, you know making your man happy will ultimately help you and the relationship thrive.

  Humour- A woman relieves her man from anger, anxiety, tiredness and long days with their sense of humour (a woman offers joy and happiness). No man wants a girl with no sense of humour. Some girls think a relationship is a one-sided affair – as long as he is making me laugh and happy, i am ok. Wrong, it should also be the other way round. A sense of humour is a necessity in life and you should enjoy using it to its fullest extent. Don’t get angry over every little thing; learn to laugh once in a while.

  Equal contribution-You should be able to provide for your man as much as he provides for you because he deserves to feel safe and loved too. Strive to match his ambition.  Don’t stand on the sidelines while he does all of the work.

  Passion-Now, you might think am referring to passionate sex. Well, that is great but I am actually talking of passion towards the relationship. It’s crucial that you and your partner feel passionate about one another- that means your passion of being together is strong and will carry you through the rough time. You need to be passionate and dedicated to making the relationship work, because it’s not always going to be rainbows and butterflies.

  Communication- Talking dirty in bed can be such a turn on. Having open and honest communication is essential to a long-lasting relationship. You need to be able to voice your opinion, and so does your partner. Being able to express yourself and communicate your needs and wants will help you achieve lifetime happiness.

  Note, most men have prostate diseases. Some don’t even have the sensation or urge for sex, yet they marry, get involved in relationships; so if sex is the ultimate that a woman offers, such men should not go for women. Yes; they need women, not for sex but for things that are better in relationship than sex. So beyond sex, a woman to me offers life and life supersedes sex.”

  Miracle Okeke, a spinster said:  One can love sex, but if you don’t truly love the person you’re going to bed with, you’ve got nothing. Love is an indescribable feeling that is not easy to put into words, but you know when you feel it and you know when you don’t. Sex and love can go together, but they are also two different things and that’s more reason we ladies need to be educated on how to run a relationship.

     “There are things you should expect from a man you have a romantic relationship with to offer or prove.  That will enable you to know that he truly loves and cares about you and not just having sex with you and talking rubbish at your back.

  “True love and affection is important every moment. A man should hug his woman every time he meets her. It’s not only telling  her that you love her but also show her by helping her daily, i.e., opening doors, handling her things very carefully ,  caring for her when she is in need such as sickness, etc. Above all, do what a real man is supposed to do.

  “Things a lady can offer in a relationship apart from sex are as follows:

  Companionship- Spend time with someone you call your love

Intimacy –You reveal part of yourself that you usually keep hidden

  Home cooking- Knowing how to cook and cook to his taste”

OnyebuchiEmebo, a married woman from Awka, defines sex as a physical activity between two people in which they touch each other’s  sexual organs. “There are more to life than sex. Knowing that your partner has your back can be more important and also having the knowledge that you [a woman] will be there by his side to protect him is the ultimate and will prove to him that you have more to offer than sex.

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